Abbreviations

Abbreviations...how convenient they are. At times they just epitomise the sheer laziness of humankind. Hell, I’m not complaining. I’m as lazy as they come. Think Dimitar Berbatov (sorry non-football fans, I’m sure you won’t mind not understanding this reference) after a couple of days without sleep and a few stone put on for good measure. Roughly in that ball park is the magnitude of my laziness. But that’s aside the point. Abbreviations are pretty useful. But at times, I just can’t help but feel as though they could be...how can I put this...more awesome? Don’t leave, I know you’re wondering what the hell I’m on about, but bear with me. It’s better for you to bear with me than for you to have a bear with you, which is what will happen if you leave right now. I know where you live. The bear knows where you live. The bear has the methods at his disposal to maul, lacerate and demolish you. You know what’s best for you. So stay here, bear with me, and avoid having a bear with you (and the bloody consequences). Wow, I really have gone ‘off on one’. Where was I? Ah yes, of course. It’s second nature to us that being more awesome is a generally good thing, so surely more awesome abbreviations are a good thing too? Let me put this into a much more workable context. Names; often they get abbreviated, and to be honest, it’s not always particularly worth it (certainly not like a regular L’oreal user). But imagine this. Your name is Jonothan. It’s okay, and you’re perfectly content with it. Some people call you ‘John’/’Jon’, and some even ‘Jono’. But aren’t we missing a trick here? What about ‘Han’?! (I must remind you that here, the sarcasm is more apparent than in other areas of the blog). I know for a fact that I would rather be referred to as ‘Han’, instead of the now mundane seeming ‘Jonothan’. I know it makes sense, and you do too. Being named after the most badass pilot in the whole of the universe (sorry Lando) is an honour, and Goddamnit is it awesome. I also can’t help but feel as though I could have had it a bit better too. ‘Benjamin’ is all fine and well (though I do HATE it), and it being abbreviated to ‘Ben’ is reasonable (I don’t mind it) but again, aren’t we all missing a massive bit of awesome naming potential? ‘Benjamin’ becomes ‘Jamin’. Oh yes. Indeed, I would definitely need to be black to pull it off with a shred of respectability or aplomb, but it’s still a kickass name nonetheless. Yes, I will find something more interesting and relevant to write about next time. (No promises made.)