FIFA 11 vs PES 2011 (Demos)

It's nearly that time of year again. The time of year when all those many many football fans out there have to decide between the two big football simulation games (or, if you're a rich bastard, just get both) and stick with it 'til the end of the season (and a bit beyond). It's recently become a much easier decision than it used to be though. It once was the big licensing muscle of FIFA, versus the more refined gameplay of PES. Electronic Arts' FIFA always seemed to do better commercially, but critically, time and time again, Konami knew how to win. Me personally? I never really bought into PES, but I do see the points for against both sides. For the past few years though, FIFA has advanced well, making useful refinements and additions, and crucially making it a very playable series by revamping the engine itself. PES however, hasn't fared so well. The package has seemed to stay the same for a few years, leaving a rather stale taste in the mouth. You can't always just stick to your laurels. So, in the season of 2010/11, has anything changed? Not really, no. But it's interesting, for sure. Having played both of the demos a fair bit now (we're told they're not fully representative of the final product, but they never change significantly prior to release), I can make a reasonable comparison between the two.

Graphics: As you'd expect, they're both very solid looking games, but there's something more realistic about FIFA's portrayal of the football universe. The player models in PES still scream (though much quieter than before) 'robotic'. Let's call it a whisper, in fact, because they've still done a decent job. Player faces vary from player to player in both games, with Pro Evolution seeming to have the best and the worst attempts. It's tight, but FIFA wins this one - it's just smoother and cleaner.

Gameplay: This is where it gets interesting. First of all, FIFA 11 feels very different to its predecessor. It's harder. Passing isn't so simple any more, thanks to the generically named 'Pro-Passing' feature, and the shooting seems to have been modified to make it harder to score. Penalties have been given a major facelift, and without a tutorial, I found it impossible to get into any kind of groove. Let's just say many spot kicks were  smashed over the bar. I found myself marvelling at how smoothly FIFA played, but also getting frustrated with a distinct lack of bite, or weight. I find this hard to explain. It just feels a bit floaty. PES on the other hand, plays like cack - all over the pitch. First touches are horrendous, the passing and the shooting feel horrible, the default control system is very awkward indeed, and the game almost feels as though it's playing itself out. You never quite feel in control of your actions. It's a rather surreal experience, and I certainly wouldn't recommend it. Then there's the fact that you can instruct your player on the ball to 'dive' or 'simulate'. What. The. Hell. Encouraging cheating? Good one Konami...there's not a hope in hell that you'd see this kind of feature in FIFA, because (rightly) they're too sensible. Or should I say, not Japanese enough to implement something so pointless and against the spirit of the bootiful game. Oh, and finally. Remember how I just criticised the penalty system in FIFA? PES has something laughable to show you. The camera perspective when shooting is mind boggling, and ultimately, experience hindering.

Presentation: Here's where FIFA sticks to its guns and does a competent job, and it all goes tits up for PES. Both games are serious football simulations, supposedly, so you've got to keep it all authentic to a reasonable degree. FIFA does this perfectly, with a licensed soundtrack, crisp menus, decent commentary (though the voices of Clive Tyldesley and Andy Gray were already starting to grate a couple of years ago), and more official licenses than you can shake a stick at. PES on the other hand, seems to stick to its guns too...which isn't a good thing. The menus are absolutely archaic, and you'll find yourself wrestling with them at every opportunity. It's just such a hassle. All the while you're being forced to listen to some recycled J-Pop tosh that wouldn't find its way into even the shittiest of nightclubs in the rough suburbs of Tokyo. It's nearly vomit inducing. There was no commentary at all in the demo by the way, so I found myself playing to Biffy Clyro (which is perhaps why I got a little bit of enjoyment out of my playthrough). Also, Konami are boasting the ability to completely screw up the dynamics of the visual aspect of the game, and customise everything - eg, players can wear ridiculous helmets, wigs, and the like. Only the Japanese...

Features: Can't tell, from the demos. Much the same as the previous year, with one or two interesting quirks, we can safely assume.

So there we have it. My unnecessarily drawn out opinion on this year's shot at the football simulation genre. It's looking pretty bleak, actually. I'm just not too convinced that either of them play too well (PES more so than FIFA), so I may find myself playing my choice this year (FIFA, by the way), and just wishing that it was more like the previous year's version. PES 2011 though, has definitely reinforced the fact that the Japanese gaming industry is in urgent need of modernising. PS1 style menus and music were fine on the PS1, but not on the xBox 360 or PS3. Get it right people. It seems that only Nintendo know what they're doing in the land of the rising sun.

2013/2014 Solar Flare?

According to recent reports, some boffins (presumably) somewhere in the country have predicted that there will be a 'Solar Flare' in either 2013 or 2014. Now, when I first heard this story, I responded in a manner much like the way most people respond to hearing this. 'What the hell even is one of those?' Well, I still don't really know, so I think a trip over to my good friend Wikipedia will be in order. But regardless of the ins and outs of what happens, I do know what the consequences of such an event are supposedly going to be. Apparently, all electronics globally will be cut off. Yes, that's right. If we have reason to believe what's being predicted (and extrapolated from findings from many years ago), then in 3 or 4 years time, we will completely lose electronic devices. Now, they should be able to be reset, but even so, can you imagine the chaos that would ensue if this were to happen? Phone lines would be down. The internet would be down. Television and radio would be disabled. It would be more than just a shock to the system - it would effectively paralyse the globe! However...I think we do all need to chill just a bit. It's not going to end the world, and it won't even come close. Precautions can be undertaken, such as satellites temporarily going offline to avoid the flare's wrath, and I'm sure that as a planet's worth of countries clumping together, we'll be able to do sufficient work to quash the effects of the flare, regardless of its magnitude. To be honest, I just don't know enough about it. I can't sift the fact from the fiction and the gossip, so I'll either have to research it (too lazy), or just wait and see what unfolds. I do get the impression that this may be a bit of a dud story though, and that we're just doing what we do best; worrying like hell.

Go Compare...my fist to your face

We've all seen it. We've all heard it. We all hate it. Why why why do the people at GoCompare think it's a good advertising campaign?! Yes, it's now a household name, and people of all ages know what the company is, but that's missing the point. You've also got to remember as well, that death (for example) is a household name, and generally we don't exactly like it. For an advertisement to be successful, it needs to have a memorable hook of some sort, but it also needs to be appropriate. It doesn't necessarily have to be relevant (just look at the Cadbury's gorilla advert, which has now made Phill Collins' 'In The Air Tonight' more popular by tenfold.), but it absolutely has to get on the right side of the potential customers - ie, don't fucking annoy everyone by centering your advertising campaign around a fat, Italian, wailing prick. This just so happens to be exactly what the people at GoCompare have done. Imbeciles. Clearly something's wrong with the hierarchy at that place, because it doesn't exactly take a genius to realise that you're going to irritate people with 'Gio Compario' - a man who must surely be the prime candidate for 'Fictional Twat of the Year'. A solid punch to face is definitely what that penis of a man, and every employee who works in the advertising department of GoCompare deserves.

Am I...Posh?

It's come to my attention recently, that I may be getting, or have had for a while, a strange reputation. Now, let's get this out of the way right at the start. I'm not posh. I'm just not. My upbringing has been civilised, to a degree (as in, civilised enough to know that I probably shouldn't eat with my mouth open, and that killing/rape/necrophilia is wrong), but it certainly hasn't been an upper class upbringing. My mum comes from Norfolk, and my dad comes from Wales. Not exactly two places that you would associated with being rife with posh people. In fact, combine the two and you get a place that revels in incestuous woolly sex...fun, fun, fun! And, breaking away from the rigid and (mostly) hideously inaccurate stereotypes for a second, they're not posh anyway. So why and how have I gained this reputation (sort of)? I've thought about it, and it's probably partly because I've effectively become an old man at the tender age of 16. I'm very opinionated (often stupidly so), I follow many traditionally morals and beliefs, and crucially, I'm an absolutely pathetically devoted grammar nazi. Also, I'm often very very grumpy indeed - like your mum when she's been told that she can't have a cream cake (which I'm assuming, if exposed to her, would be devoured in 2 seconds flat), and I recently got told that I dress like an old man. What's wrong with shirts?! Anyway...the signs are pretty conclusive. But how does this make me posh? Well, it doesn't. It's to do with the bit about being a grammar nazi...because I'm that way, I always attempt to write in the best possible English, with unnecessarily long words and excessive punctuation. For this, I seem posh. It would be fine, but in this day and age of seas of abbreviation and hopelessly poor grammar (you know, illiteracy) I stick out like a sore thumb. It's not the standard 'done thing' to talk, text and type in Queen's English - it's weird, apparently (according to the new generation of up and coming youths just a few years below me, that I like to call Fucktards). So the answer is, no, I'm not posh. I just look like a fucking snob in comparison to the majority of the detritus that lethargically roams this doomed planet. Wait, does that mean that I AM posh?

Sacha Baron Cohen is...Freddie Mercury?!

Sacha Baron Cohen. Say what you like, but he's a funny guy. But crucially, that's pretty much (film wise) all he is. I've got to be honest about it. I mean, Will Ferrell is by far my favourite actor, but I'd be one of the first to admit that he can only do (and do BRILLIANTLY, if I may add) comedy, and nothing else. But back to Mr Cohen.

Borat - controversial, but a funny film nonetheless.
Ali G - maybe a bit over referenced, but definitely funny.
Bruno - well, I haven't seen it, so...but I have heard that it's pretty funny.
Talladega Nights - hilarious film, and though not the star of the show, he's damn funny all the same.

That's a quick pick from the man's filmography. All comedies. I, for one, wouldn't be able to take the guy seriously if he had to play a mature, dramatic role. And I know that lots of people share this view. So why then, would you pick him to play Freddie Mercury, the great Freddie Mercury, in a film biopic about our bombastic national treasures Queen? It beggars belief. There's so much that could go wrong here. It's pretty obvious too. Sacha Baron Cohen is known to offend people easily, and being such a universally loved source material that Queen are, fans could very easily be looking at an insult of an acting performance. Because Freddie was such an extrovert, and crucially, gay, the role is on a knife edge in terms of getting it right. Also bear in mind Sacha's pedigree when playing the role of a comedic gay character...he's been there and done that at least twice! It just seems to me that this film is a nightmare waiting to happen. Yes, Sacha Baron Cohen does resemble Freddie Mercury more than most actors out there, but I genuinely can't think of many worse actors to pick for the part. With me being a real fan of Queen's music, I just hope that Sacha can mature (if only for just this once) into a mature, well rounded, and sensitive actor. Freddie deserves a movie, because he was a true legend, and one of the best musicians/showmen our country has ever, and will ever see - let's not let this be screwed up, please.

Pre-school...wait, sorry, I mean 'college'

Finally, college. After what feels like a lifetime of education, going through the school system, taking exams that feel important but ultimately aren’t, taking the piss out of supply teachers, swearing like a tourrettes suffering freak, leaving homework ‘til the last minute, cutting and sticking, trading Pokemon cards, playing races at lunchtime and thinking that taking you shoes off made you faster, and learning countless subjects that don’t interest you, finally college begins. Where the ‘real’ work can be found, and where you get more freedom, and can stop learning all the subjects that previously nibbled at your brain like a hungry rat (with a fetish for brains). You’d think then, that it would all become serious, and proper hard work would begin. Well, not yet, apparently. Because I can never tell who’s reading this, I won’t specify the details of this story. Let’s just say that spending an hour and fifteen minutes constructing models out of simply pipe cleaners, paperclips, elastic bands, and some random scummy shit is not a way of learning. It’s a way of being patronised and frankly, insulted. I may have enjoyed it at the tender age of somewhere inbetween 2 and 8 years old, but at 16, hoping to learn to gain sufficient qualifications to hopefully enable me to move forward in the future and make a relative success of myself, it just isn’t quite right. I reckon there’s schools in Swaziland (lowest average life expectancy in the entire world) that have considerably better resources than what we had to use. I’d love to have a massive rant, (and go into some extravagant metaphors involving faeces, and maybe even incest) but to be honest, it’s probably not for the best, and I’m sure I’ve already repeated the expression of my over the top feelings to various friends far too often. So yeah, this is me bailing from a potential tirade. Doesn’t happen often...so take a mental picture, and frame that bad boy.

Jamiroquai

Jamiroquai are back! Well, will be very soon. The upcoming release of lead single 'White Knuckle Ride' and album 'Rock Dust Light Star' (No, I'm not sold on that title either...) signals a much needed comeback. I really hope both the album and subsequent singles do well critically and commercially, because I'm sick to death of hearing horrendous music climbing the charts. Having a UK number 1 doesn't seem such a great achievement any more, considering the heaps of unmitigated cack that have topped the charts in recent years. The single may not be out yet, but thanks to the brilliance of the internet, you can listen to it here : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSNWqyAoNqM

I've listened to it a couple of times, and I must say, I do like it. It seems to have found a good middle ground between their older material and the kind of music that is being released to great success nowadays. For me, it isn't particularly amazing, but it's good all the same. If the rest of the album hits this standard, we could be looking at one of the best albums of the year. I remember the good old days, before I even knew anything about music, and the only music I ever listened to was Jamiroquai, or the first Gorillaz album. Those were good times...then came Madness, Queen and Green Day, and so the weird eclectic music taste of mine began. Strange.

The single 'White Knuckle Ride' will be available on October 4th

Apostrophes - who needs them?

Reading the title, you'd probably think that this was going to be some massive rant about how people SHOULD be getting their grammar right, let alone just the use of apostrophes, and how we could soon see the English language being completely disregarded. If you're thinking this, you'd be wrong. This is a blog post in which I will, effectively, concede a minor defeat, and let the world keep going in the direction it seems to want to be taking (ie Majorly downhill...with flames and spikes. Yeah.)

For a while now it's been brought to my attention that the context in which apostrophes are used, by most people, is completely wrong. It's almost as though their thought is that you may as well chuck one in at a random point, and hope that it makes you look like a more literate human being than your peers. Well it doesn't - because most of the time, it's completely incorrect. But anyway, like I said, this isn't about the ranting, it's about conceding a (partial) defeat. Me being quite ridiculously stuck up for a 16 year old, and arrogant in my Nazi-like way of dealing with grammar is not going to be enough to get the situation to improve. So should I keep going? No. I'll just annoy people even more than I already do. On the flipside, should the apostrophe related failings keep going? No. How can this be eradicated? It's quite simple really...we just get rid of the apostrophe altogether. Abolish that little bastard, and the problem disappears (theoretically). Does this make me happy? No, but it's a compromise, and compromises will inevitably have to be made at some point.

Kids' Names

So, I suppose, if all goes to plan in the future, I'd quite like to have 2 kids. You know, along with all the other brilliantly awesome perfect stuff that I'd like to happen. But ideally, 2 kids would be great, maybe 3 (at a push), but no more, and no less than 2. So here's the deal: How, and what should I name them? Now, please note that this blog post is rather light hearted, and that actually, having kids isn't something that's been on my mind much recently. So, I'll need to find 2 suitable names. Not too hard, you may think, but there's a problem...I have a shortlist...(ironic, because the list itself is rather long). 109 names will NEED to be whittled down to two. There'll be no 54.5 barrelled names, unfortunately. Want to see the list? No? Tough cheese, bastard. Actually, I shouldn't be rude to you, as you could easily stop reading right now...noooooo, please come back! I love you! There we go. Much better. Well, enjoy...

42, Abacus, Adolf, Archimedes, Banjo, Bangkok, Barrel Roll, Benito, Berk, Binary, BN BN, Bobsleigh, Bongo, Bourbon, Brio, Burrito, Cake, Carbon Fibre, Chicken Tikka, Chieftan, Cillit, CoD, Cookie Jar, Crocodilius, Darth, Detergent, Diligence, DK, Dominica, Dongle, Dude, Electro, Eloquence, Emperor, Ethernet, Falcon Punch, Fernando, Frodo, Geronimo, Gerrard, Gibralta, Giminez, Gypsy, Headshot, Helter Skelter, Hubba Bubba, Huckerby, Indigo, Ingrid, Irwin, Jabba, Jaffa, Jamaica, Jambon, Jam Jar, Jango, Jar Jar, Jedediah, Jenga, Jesus, Jettison, Jigglypuff, Jimi, Jingle, Jitterbug, Joker, Jolly Roger, Ju Jitsu, Juxtaposition, Kamikaze, Lumberjack, Mandela, Molecular, Monty, Mumbo Jumbo, Murdoc, Nik Nak, Nutella, Optimus Prime, Oreo, Osama, Owen, Paperclip, Pegasus, Petrol, Powerpoint, Quencher, Qwerty, Ronaldo, Rudimentary, Rudolf, Samurai, Scorpion, Shintysix, Simba, Sir Digby Chicken, Spatula, Stalin, Sugar, Supermassive, Tiddlywink, Tom Tom, Umpteen, Vectron, Viagra, Wildcard, Yebda aaaaaand Zebedee.

So...any thoughts? ;)

PC World

Hello there people (assuming that more than one poor sod is sitting here reading this text). No, I'm not referring to the Computer superstore (with a hideously irritating jingle), but to the fact that the world is going FUCKING MENTAL. That's a fact. Everything's changing, and (in most cases) in a really bad way. The day I die will be a fucking celebration for me, the way the world is heading. There's no place for meticulous, sparkling grammar, traditional values, law abiding citizens or dry wit any more. I can't help but feel as though this leaves me a tad fucked. But anyway, that's another rant for another day, which I'll carefully wrap up in a box labelled 'Shit', and lob it in the attic. So here we are, PC world. It's a cliche, and I hear it a lot of the time (and often contribute with red faced aggression), but political correctness really has gone mad. Now, in some ways, it's fine. Racism is horrendous, and anything that has a genuine chance of squeezing out the ignorant shits that hold such racist views should be tested. But ultimately, sometime's things do get taken a bit too seriously...when really, a bit of light-heartedness would do no harm at all. Here's just a few examples. You're not allowed to use the phrase 'brainstorm' any more, because it's allegedly offensive towards people with epilepsy. Now, don't get me wrong, epilepsy is certainly no laughing matter. I need to say this before I accidentally say something that may very well cause offence, and that's definitely not something I want to be doing. But I highly doubt that an epileptic person would find it in them to be personally hurt by a term generally used to encourage pupils to work hard. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I find myself saying that things don't make sense to me a hell of a lot right now, but I don't think it's because I've all of a sudden become a bit more retarded. Then again, if I were more retarded, maybe I'd have a good enough reason to get someone to just finish me off now before the world gets any fucking worse. Following on from a school related term that is now deemed potentially offensive, you're now not really supposed to say 'spider diagram' any more. You know, because it's SO offensive to all those arachnophobes out there. Urgh, I'm sure that one of these people that would get offended by the term 'spider diagram' would also get offended by the word 'spider' on it's own...and should we really be told to ban the act of a simple word being said? No I don't fucking think so. Get your act together, pathetic wank stain of a world. Surely it'd be more reasonable to take some form of offence at the term 'bullet point'?! Thousands upon thousands of people must die from bullet wounds every year, including of course in pivotal and massively important historical events such as the two world wars. Now it's a little far-fetched, but I'm sure as hell that it's more reasonable for someone to be mourning a fatally shot loved one, and to be offended by 'bullet point' than for someone to not like spiders, and be offended by 'spider diagram'. It's just moronic. I'm fucking tired and pissed off now, so I should probably go to bed soon. I don't sleep too well anyway, so maybe I should try counting sheep (besides, what with all the Welshness, it'd give me morning glory...)...speaking of sheep, actually. It's not baa baa black sheep any more. No no, it's baa baa rainbow sheep. Yeah, because that kind of sheep bloody exists doesn't it?! Cretins. It's not even a noticeably racist nursery rhyme, until you look into it. And let's be honest, its target market, the pre school kids, won't be able to analyse texts such as baa baa black sheep with any kind of depth or point at all. What a pisstake. Maybe if it was called 'Baa Baa Nigger Sheep' I'd be more understanding...do me a favour, will you, PC world? Fuck off.

Laughably irrelevant and pointless homework task

"Draw what you think you'll be like when you're 40 years old." Believe it or not, this is a task we've been set as history homework. You know, as opposed to 'bullshit', which is what you'd think the subject was...(if bullshit were a subject). So here's what I've got so far: It's me, with the same hairstyle, but longer, and most definitely (somehow) more trampish. I haven't grown, and I'm unemployed, living alone in a skanky flat, and am reeking of takeways (most probably Chinese or pizza). I've been wearing the same clothes for the past several days or so, and would make the general attire of an everyday hobo look rather clean and upmarket. All 40 year old Ben does everyday is watch a constant toxic stream of re-runs of greatly outdated TV shows and moan about everything he sees, in his now typically (and unnecessarily) cynical fashion, while hopelessly counting the days until he'll next be able to rob Gregg's when they have a some elaborate form of special sausage rolls, that can apparently inexplicably only be baked on one day of the week, every week. All the while, counting the days until impending death. This is me (probably) (possibly) (maybe not) in the future if everything goes tits up XD

Smartphones

I'm very reluctant to get a 'smartphone', which is quite strange, because I can be a bit of a techno-nut at times. But there's a couple of big stumbling blocks that I don't think I'll be able to get over when it comes to considering what to upgrade to from my old fashioned and lovable, but painfully broken Sony Ericsson. First up: Price. They're just too damn much. Well, no, for what they do I suppose they aren't THAT expensive, but for some less than average Joe like me, who can't buy what he likes and doesn't have a job, I find the thought of getting a 'smartphone' rather unrealistic. Take the iPhone 4. I take a light gander at the Apple website, to browse for prices, and oh, would you look at that, it's ONLY either the 'cheap' £499 or, for a larger memory, £599! Wow, what a deal. So that's one reason. Secondly, my other huge gripe is that in comparison to the spawn of our beloved Apple, other companies' efforts are just a tad inferior, and there's no easy way to know which one is better than the other. There's just too many choices, and for such a hefty price sum and committed investment, it'd be nice to know what's best for me. Oh, and if the initial purchase costs were enough, what about the monthly fees? Oh technological world of extreme extortion, you make me want to cry. So, when the day in which I have to replace my current phone (most certainly down to some critical software fault) comes, what will I do? It's simple. I'll buy another cheap little Sony Ericsson, and save myself the pain of searching, and the massive strain in my wallet. Oh, but just to clarify - I'm not dismissing 'smartphones'. No no, they're great pieces of kit. So you know, if you feel like just giving one away... ;)

Radiohead

I'm sitting here, listening to what is generally regarded as one of the best albums of all time. I don't agree with this, because actually, when you analyse it all, it's not too well sung, and doesn't necessarily have many (if any) 'killer tunes'. What am I listening to then? Well, the eye possessing of you out there will probably have been observant enough to notice the title of this post. It's Radiohead. And to be more specific, 'OK Computer' by Radiohead, which I believe came out in '97. For me personally, I like this album more than it actually is good. Don't get me wrong, it's an excellent album, because it really flows as a unit and has its own sense of direction and purpose and I do really really like it (which is why I've had it on loop for a while now), but I just feel as though those that hate it would kind of have a fair point. Some of the vocals are pretty bad. Thom Yorke just isn't a very good singer, and he certainly isn't a genius - despite what many of his plaudits have said. The haters and the lovers will have to agree to disagree, and I suppose we'll have to take the critics word for it, because they know best...meaning that it indeed is a modern classic. I'll happily accept that, because I do really like it, but when I see some of the praise written about Radiohead's other material, I SERIOUSLY disagree. Their earlier stuff had a more raw, rocky (less tuneful) sound to it, which was pretty good, but nothing special. But it's the post-OK Computer stuff that bugs me. It radiates this horribly boring, electronic easy listening vibe, that's best use is not for entertainment as intended, but for sending people like me into a deep sleep. Oh well, I'm happy with my Radiohead fix. Ok Computer is excellent, and their Best Of picks the choice meat from a mostly rotting carcass of a few albums, and turns it into a respectable, and decent CD. So overall, I'm certainly not the biggest Radiohead fan, though at least I can be glad that a couple of favourite bands of mine effectively leeched off Radiohead in the own ways, and have honed it down into their own styles. Thank you Coldplay and Muse.

Holiday 'Review'

So, let's review the holiday, and my preparations for the upcoming hard-working next phase of my life. First up, the holiday. Well, I've pretty much done fuck all, which caters to my tastes I suppose. Football manager, facebook, msn, and the xbox have all received plentiful usage during the past few (billion - it seems that way) weeks. It's been alright, but I should definitely have made more of an effort to see people. In fact, the only friend I really got to see was my little 'sister' with whom I have since, kind of, and in strange circumstances, (perhaps irreversibly) fallen out with. Along those lines I've also completely fallen out with a long time friend/bitch, and have found myself distancing myself completely unnecessarily from most of my closest friends. Yes, I suppose you could say my holiday's been a bit of a cock up, and so now to make it even better, I face the prospect of of college (and imminent hard work and concentration). Woop de doo. What's that I hear you saying? 'Don't worry Ben, you said that you planned to get your sleeping pattern back, so at least that's one good thing'? Well, you'd be wrong. Like fuck would I have early nights - it's been later than 1 o'clock every night for the past few weeks now, and so getting up at half 6 is going to be a BIT shit. And I haven't even thought about what I'll need for college, so I may very well find my self entering the place criminally under-prepared. So yeah, I might be a bit screwed, but I don't even care. I'll just take it on the chin, do my best to fend off the laziness, and hope that everything that's fucked up my holiday gets fixed. It'd be nice if things could go back to how they were, in some aspects. On the upside...Muse in 3 days!

A Strong Contender For The Worst Spelling Of All Time

'Parents'. Not a hard word to spell, to be honest. I've probably known how to spell it since...hmmm, I don't know. A long time, let's put it that way. Now, if you're dyslexic, then you've got a perfect reason to not be able to spell well, so don't fret if you can't spell 'parents'. But anyway, it's a damn simple word. So imagine my horror when I find a status update from a 16 going on 17 year old, who spells the word 'parents' as...wait for it...'peronts'. Uh huh. It's not really even spelt phonetically, so I don't know what the poor guy was thinking. I'm going to try extra hard not to be a dick about this though, because I need to be changing my ways. I can be a Grammar Nazi, as long as I don't act on it all the time in the most prickish of ways. *holds in the unbearable urge to rip the piss out of a retarded, druggie of a teenager with an awful attitude to life*

Cripple!

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, I'm so glad I can see the funny side of this, because it actually does hurt a fair bit, but for some reason completely unknown to me, I can barely move my neck! Maybe I slept on it awkwardly, maybe I'm feeling the effects of old age at 16, or maybe I'm dying of some rather exotic (exotic in a bad way, not quite like a Caribbean holiday) disease or illness. Oh well. Yes, you may have noticed that I've posted two times in one evening, at breakneck speed (pun very much intended), but I thought I should, well...stick my neck out and just keep writing (pun also very much intended). Neckst time I'll be better equipped joke wise...(even worse pun, again very much intended).

Being Fed Up

Right now I'd say I'm pretty damn fed up with a lot of things, and when it all comes together, it means that I am generally starting to get fed up with life. I'm bored of so many things now, I've made so many mistakes and have taken (and probably without even realising, given) so much shit that I don't quite know what to think at the moment. Perhaps this is why Football Manager and my music (more than ever) have become such stupidly integral parts of my life right now (btw, Frank Ribery on a free transfer really did make my week...wait, does this mean I'm the detritus of the Earh?) They're just what I enjoy most, and at the moment I'm not quite experienced enough to see that it's a massive waste of my time, so for now it's okay. I'm so fed up that many many things in my life that would normally (on some level) excite me simply cause reactions of mild 'cba' or 'meh' or 'kjhfnkajfhcmiu' or 'okay'. I was given some money recently, and though my confusion and 'fed-upness' certainly did not shirk off my gratitude, I almost didn't care. Yes, losing some lust for money (and potentially greed) may very well be a good thing, but to me it very much so isn't good when as well as this, I now eat a lot less (I'M SUPPOSED TO LOVE FOOD), and my care for football (including dear old troubled Liverpool FC) has dwindled significantly, with me desperately trying to talk about it constantly in the meagre hope that maybe, just maybe, the interest will come back. Aaaargh, it's worse than I first feared! Sitting in front of me are 7 brand new CDs that I just bought, and I don't seem to want them on my iPod. I just can't be bothered, but I want to be bothered! And when I look back, I realise that actually, there's more to come. If you know me, you'll unfortunately (and I'm genuinely sorry for this) know that I love to argue. Now, sometimes I'd argue in a good way, and in a light hearted way, and sometimes it would be in a way which could only ever irritate and aggravate people. I'm not proud of this, and for some reason it seems to be my number 1 skill. But now, it's only the latter. Maybe somebody (me) needs to shut the fuck up...(though even if I do shut the fuck up and get myself out of this strange rut for which I think I know the reason, I'll still keep blogging like a retard, so again, unlucky). For me personally though, most worryingly of all, is this, and I'll explain it in a very blunt way: 1 week, Muse, Wembley. Not excited. Now, fair enough, I'm certainly not an excitable person - this is indicated by the fact that the last time Christmas or my birthday made me grin is not an 'event' that I can remember. So anyway. Why SHOULD I be excited about Muse at Wembley? Well...oh screw it, I'm bored now, the few of you that may be reading this long winded stack of aimless words will probably understand without having to read an essay on why music is dying and how Muse are ambassadors for (rock) musical awesomeness, so I'm just going to finish here with no conclusion to this poor, blind, defenceless lump of a blog post. I'll force out a slightly more 'entertaining' (less boring) one with some kind of supposedly witty direction to it for you next time around, whenever that may be.