Things I’ve Thunk: Inc. E3, Glastonbury and Wimbledon 2011

• For various reasons (ie, lethargy and emotional ‘ikishifnriejrm’) I missed out on writing my many opinions on the Electronic Entertainment Expo held in Los Angeles earlier this month. Overall, it was a little bit of a let down, if I’m going to have to be honest. I don’t have to be honest. But I’m going to be anyway. As always, thanks to the first ‘E’ of the condensed acronym, I found the experience to be very much entertaining. Considering this was from the comfort of my own home, simply watching (stuttering) streams of the various conferences, it must have been a considerably more enjoyable experience to have actually been there. Not to mention the fact that a whole pool of playable games were available, if you were able to tolerate the queues. My highlights? The 3DS software, Gears of War 3, the Legend of Zelda tech demo for the Wii U, and the PS VITA. The Zelda tech demo will be a full game by the way. IT. IS. GORGEOUS.
• Glastonbury’s been and gone for another year, and it’s fair to say that it was a pretty damn good show on the whole. If you didn’t see any of it, what have you missed? Bono being the big-headed prick that he always is, as he performs on stage with the rest of U2…Coldplay surprising a lot of their many haters with a superb headline slot, Radiohead performing a ‘surprise’ set…Beyonce wowing everybody except Zane Lowe, who’s now caused a little bit of interwebs frenzy without even really doing or saying anything out of line, and plenty, plenty more. Find the BBC YouTube channel and go have some fun – there’s a ton of highlights available.
• Oh yes, it’s Wimbledon time. Where everybody becomes interested in tennis for the duration of the competition. Well, no, until there’s only the doubles matches to be decided. Does anybody care by that point? It’s a little bit like the ‘World Cup effect’ in football, where everyone in the country becomes an avid fan of the sport for the summer – minus the blind-eyed patriotism, and make it four times as frequent. I personally quite like tennis, but I’ll happily admit that I only really follow the sport during Wimbledon season. I know plenty of the players’ names, men and women, past and present – but to me that’s more like general trivia rather than a vested interest. My money’s on Federer, in case anyone out there gives a toss. He’s ace. Pun very much intended.
• The Sony Ericsson W810i truly is a magical piece of technological engineering. Dismantled, it was allowed time to rest in a puddle and soak up the moisture. After a brief scare, she works just like she used to…oh mobile of mine, I love you.
• Old Jamaica ginger beer is the tastiest liquid on the planet. Probably. Nothing beats an ice cool can.
• I’m tired, goodnight!

"Hello, I'm in college"

Hello, I'm in college. I may just be on the cusp of a revolutionary discovery; the second in the same morning. In fact, if you're reading these very words, then I've absolutely cusped the cusp of revolution cusping. By this I mean that I have actually made another discovery, and haven't got ahead of myself. If you're not reading these words (and you'll know if you're not, you just won't be aware of it. Wait, what?) then I've gotten overly excited prematurely about a non-discovery. Shut the hell up, Ben. Earlier I managed to access Twitter from one of several computer rooms on site, and it blew my mind. Y'see, I'd always assumed that websites such as Twitter (loosely categorised as 'social networking', which bugs me a little) would be blocked by the server - after all, that site that everyone goes on every second of every day to live on and stuff is blocked. 'Facebook' or some shit like that. It'll never take off. Twitter was the subject of my first pleasantly surprising discovery though - my second discovery comes in the form of Blogger. I can not only access the website itself to view other people's blogs, and check on my own (and watch those sweet, sweet viewing numbers rise thanks solely to a bad Arctic Monkeys review), but I can also write up and publish new posts. Fuck you, this excites me. This excites me nearly as much as 'inventing' Tequila Mockingbird, until I realise it's already been ever so slightly thought up by another mind previously, and is an actual cocktail. Gutting. And there was me thinking that classical Mexican literature was dead and buried.

'NO FOOD AND DRINK', the sign bellows. From my comfortable (and particularly well oiled) executive chair, I can see four different copies of this apparently urgent message. WHEN YOU SEE CAPITALS, LARGE FONT AND BOLD BLACK LETTERING, YOU KNOW THEY MEAN BUSINESS. According to the pathetic looseness of Psychology AS (one of a few emerging 'fake' sciences, y'know, where you can have a thought and it's immediately right with no actual scientific evidence...), I tend to be a bit of a non-conformist personality, which is exactly why I'm sitting here, sipping vimto and eating chocolate digestives with pride. This is the life. Permission to turn back on a previous comment? Thank you. I really enjoy Psychology - it's interesting, engaging, unique, and needless to say one of the easier subjects you could choose. It sits just above Dance...I'm such a gifted dancer. I'd happily argue that Psychology doesn't necessarily have to be backed up by as much stone-cold scientific backing as the big three of Biology, Chemistry and Physics. The nature of what Psychology requires as student to study means that it's not possible to go by formulas, and a straight confined path. There's several theories, each making logical sense in their own way - some of which do hold scientific support as one of their advantages. I guess it's just nice to have a subject where you can weigh up different approaches to say, psychopathology, and evaluate psychologists' research. Okay, I'm not going to lie, evaluation's the worst bit - but the human mind is bloody fascinating. Do me a favour and take Psychology. Or Dance; that shit's fucking awesome.

Well then, I guess I'd better run along. I have a busy day ahead of me! I've got to...erm...do some...sitting around...and then...well...have lunch on the concrete outside Morrison's...and...yeah, life's thrilling. I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't stuck in East Norfolk Sixth Form College ('enorf', as we so affectionately call it) for every single weekday of my depressing teenage life. Except have a moderately interesting life, and be at least 15% less depressed. Cheers, Yarmouth.

The worst injury I've ever had, and how it happened - official.

So, I was water-skiing with some sombrero-wearing penguins in the Antarctic. Everything was going swimmingly, until a pink whale came up from underneath me, and flung me miles into the air. I landed, perhaps conveniently, on the roof of an EasyJet airliner. I thought I was safe, but by pure bad luck, one of my penguin pals had been catapulted by the whale and into the engine; destroying the left phalange. The plane began to rapidly plummet, soon ending up being lodged in the side of a fucking massive iceberg. Cue fiery flaming explosion of flames and fire. The passengers on board, needless to say, were all killed. I managed to survive the blast, losing both my arms and legs in the process. I was airlifted to safety by a phoenix, and taken to a reputable hospital in Holland, where my limbs were carefully and proficiently reconstructed, using a suspiciously flesh-like mixture of Edam and Pritt Stick. My recovery was swift - alas the tragedy of this tale was yet to reach its climax. In my hospital bed, I choked on a sultana. I died.


This was written in response to a recent Formspring 'question of the day', which was "What's the worst injury you've had, and how did it happen?"

New Music Update: Coldplay, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Kasabian

It’s been a pretty damn packed couple of months for, well, music fans with taste strongly aligned with mine. One of those fans, for example, being myself. Yes, pick your jaw up off of the floor. “Wasting Light” (the new Foo Fighters record) burst onto the scene in April, giving us a a good amount of time to appreciate just how fucking good it was. There’s a limit to how much lightning-fast strumming a human being can tolerate though, so I was ecstatic when the new Arctic Monkeys album, “Suck It And See” (given a not too shabby 7.5 in my recent review) was being officially streamed on the ‘net in its entirety a whole week before the album’s release on June 6th. Needless to say, I listened to it a hell of a lot during that period – but I can’t stand overplaying music, so I won’t be listening to it again until I actually purchase the bloody thing; it’s only fair, right?

Alas, this is not the 'Blue' who entered Eurovision

Fortunately, with barely even a second to relax and take a breather, Coldplay decided to unveil their new single, from their as yet untitled 5th studio album. The fan response is incredibly mixed so far, which isn’t remotely surprising. Coldplay isn’t exactly everyone’s cup of tea, and I can’t help but feel a little bit sorry for Chris Martin…he’s a decent bloke, and a decent singer; can’t really fault him. Ever since their debut album, “Parachutes”, the band have been strongly and probably only slightly harshly labelled as a group that intend to depress, not necessarily impress. I personally, strongly disagree, although it’s certainly true that when I’m feeling down I’ll listen to more Coldplay than any other artist. For me, it’s great that they have such a strong purpose, whereas other bands may be left by the wayside a bit, unable to compete with the the thick mire of bands to listen to any or all of or none of the time. Perhaps, after 4 incredibly successful albums, Coldplay have found some confidence – I just don’t know. They’ve got some positivity from somewhere though, because it seems to be that “Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall” is one of Coldplay’s biggest leaps forward yet. The song is remarkably upbeat. Lyrically it’s also all rather jolly, all rather Coldplayish, and all rather poor (“Cathedrals in my heart.” SERIOUSLY?!). Musically, it follows an unorthodox structure – one that ignores ‘verse, chorus, verse, chorus’ and simply flows from start to finish. It’s by no stretch of the imagination a bad piece of music, and it’s sure to be a hit – perhaps the biggest song of the summer? Who knows. As far as new material from one of my favourite bands goes though, it’s remarkably unremarkable, this making it actually remarkable for the wrong reasons. Ha. I would describe the track in detail for you, but I see no point when simply listening to it would be the best idea for now; I’ve not heard it enough times to fully grasp it yet. I’m glad we’re seeing a change in direction for the band though, because not only is it time they cheered the fuck up a bit, but they surely would have become a little bit stale had they not decided to refresh themselves this time around. And admittedly, though I may not prefer it, on the grand scheme of things the visual style they’re going for seems to work really well. There’s a very colourful vibe, based on old-school American graffiti going on, and this vibrant, jubilant style very much comes across in the music too. It must also be mentioned that “Every Teardrop…” wins the award for Most Bagpipe-esque Guitar Riff of the Year by an absolute country mile. Nice.

Soon.

Moving on, recently Anthony Kiedis finally decided to announce some details about the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ forthcoming 10th studio album. It’s amazing to think that their self titled debut was released all the way back in 1984…blimey. Much to your glee, the album will NOT be called “Dr Johnny Skinz’s Disproportionately Rambunctious Polar Express Machine-Head” as was once reported thanks to some acid inspired ‘inspiration’ from Kiedis. What do you mean you thought he was constantly sober? No, he’s not sXe… After hearing the actual album title for the first time, your feeling of glee may very much transform into disappointment. This one’s a real stinker; devoid of any humour, originality, or intelligence. Conciseness is its only claim to fame, I’m afraid. “I’m With You”. Unfortunately Chilis, I’m not with you on this one, but I still have reasonably high hopes for the music itself…it’s just so depressing to feel my anticipation and excitement levels drop so dramatically. Apprehension is the order of the day. The first single from the album, according to drummer Chad Smith’s Twitter was reported to be “The Adventures of Raindance Maggie” – though this tweet has since been taken down, indicating that in actual fact they’re as yet undecided. It’s also apparently going to be a 12 track-strong album. Yeah, less than half the size of 2006’s Stadium Arcadium… I just don’t know what to think any more, and with an August 30th release date, there’s still a good deal more thinking time left to make the most of. Deep joy.

Kasabian - bien?

After two servings of relative disappointment, a bit more good news could really be done with here, and thankfully I’m pleased to tell you that we certainly have some. Kasabian have decided to thrust their first segment of material from their slowly approaching September-slated 4th album, “Velociraptor!” (kudos for the title). The track’s called “Switchblade Smile”, and is being released in a very similar manner to “Vlad The Impaler” from 2009’s “West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum”. Early impressions are good. Very good. Sometimes, a certain loop, beat, riff, lyric, or drum fill will connect with me in some way, and bring out an immediate reaction. The first couple of minutes of “Switchblade Smile” did this for me; that dirty, oh so dirty electric buzz…followed by those drums… It’s not as though the song is even particularly brilliant. It’s good, but no more. What makes the new album so promising is that this is just an album track, and the style they seem to have gone for really works, for me. The main reason I’m so psyched for “Velociraptor!” though, can be found in comments from the band’s 2 main creative men, Sergio Pizzorno and Tom Meighan. They’ve basically been piping up about the album in various interviews, ‘bigging it up’ and telling of how the writing and recording process has been so speedy this time around, as though they’d been taken over by some supernatural ‘spirit’. As you do. The thing is, it doesn’t come across as cockiness. Serge genuinely believes he’s written a whole album of dynamite music. On balance, I’d say I’m now more hyped for Kasbian’s next album than I am for any other album due for release in 2011. As for Coldplay and RHCP, I can’t help but worry.