BenJen's Blog

Welcome to my blog. A place where you may not find consistency, but where you will find various rants and irrelevant anecdotes, and 'witty' text on the subject of whatever crops up into a poor student's mind.
Please, do try to enjoy it... Constructive criticism is more than welcomed.

Have a nice day now, chaps and chappettes.

Warning: May contain traces of football, video games, and musical ramblings... It's mostly the latter, in truth.

Monday, 17 December 2012

The Eloquence Of An Online Gamer

I've had countless encounters over the past few years with complete idiots whilst playing video games online. I'd say that 95% of these have come from the most recent few iterations of EA's disgustingly popular FIFA series. Most of the time it spawns from either my opponent prematurely quitting the match, or just insulting me in some way after I beat them. They don't seem to realise that you should always keep quiet after losing - which is why in playing FIFA online, I'm relatively silent for the most of the time... Back to the strangers though. I relish the hilarity and the heated arguments. I just wish I'd recorded them in some way so I could have catalogued them into one delightful archive of delectable delinquent dickheads. Yes, shoddy FIFA etiquette is illegal. (Yes, I did just want an excuse to use the word 'delinquent'...'delectable' is also a fucking fantastic word...) This morning, though, I thought I'd at least remember just the one bizarre exchange. It came from a Saudi Arabian player, who quit after I scored a 3rd minute volley with Andy Carroll. I'm perfectly aware that's already rather enough to take in. Andy Carroll. Goal. Quick. Technique. Something just doesn't seem right, does it? But it happened, and the chap obviously didn't take well to it. Not at all... Here's our brief dialogue, word for word:

Him: Beat It You English MothaFucker Kid!

Me: Well, I certainly beat you... Tissues in the post, pal.

Him: Shut You Girly Bitch.

Me: Moron. Why did you quit? I excitedly await your response.

Unfortunately he never did reply. The flame of our beautiful interlude burned brighter than the sun itself, yet lasted about as long as Alan Shearer entering into a spelling bee competition. Tragic.While we're on the subject of grammar, check out those capital letters...at the beginning of every word... Classy.

Ciao for now.

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Muse - The 2nd Law: Review

Poor, or will you come back for more?

So here it is. It's finally here. It's been a while.  Three whole years, to be precise. For me at least, this is one of my most anticipated albums of all time; perhaps only pipped to the post by Muse's previous effort, 2009's The Resistance... I admit that I am a massive fan of theirs and that it's going to be quite a challenge to remove all bias (be it delusional praise or excessive criticism) from this review. I'll do my best though. Besides, what music fan doesn't have their own individual preferences? If anything it'll give me more an acute awareness of whether or not the band are doing the right thing or not - whatever that may indeed be. This makes it all the more worrying that, after multiple listens and much grappling, I still can't quite get a good hold on The 2nd Law... Honest to God, I'm not even sure if it's any good or not. Not the most assuring of words to hear from a reviewer, but bear with me as I try to get my opinions down onto cyber-paper on the fly. This should be interesting.

Righty then. I'll do this chronologically. The album kicks off with the wonderfully bombastic Supremacy. It sounds like a Bond theme right to the core, and in fact I'd bet you anything that Matt Bellamy had this in mind during the duration of its writing and recording. He's probably as disappointed as me, knowing that Adele's been handed the task. Some day, it'll happen... The main (7-string) riff is chunky and, in conjunction with the use of overly dramatic strings, positively reeks of Led Zep's Kashmir, which most definitely is no bad thing. Military snares, trumpet(s) and some standard Muse lyrics (emancipation and brainwashing, anyone?) delivered with some classic wailing make up the rest of the bulk of this track. Throw in a little bit of a rock-out session towards the end and you've got yourself a damn good opener. I really can't say much more about it. It's just rather excellent. Don't get too carried away just yet though - this is not a sign of things to come...

BAM. Just like that we have our first stark contrast of the record. It didn't take long. I would say that we've all heard Madness (The 2nd Law's first true single, after Survival) by now, but judging by its poor chart performance, we definitely haven't...which I think is a shame, as it's most definitely an eye-opener for the right reasons. So much so that Coldplay's Chris Martin described it as Muse's best song ever, and even Matt Bellamy claimed it to be his favourite song he's ever written... Personally I wouldn't go quite so far. Sonically it's difficult to describe. It's clearly an attempt to breach the mainstream, all the way through to the lyrics in which Matt sings more openly about relationships than he's ever done before. That's not saying much, mind, coming from a band which is probably collectively more in love with the idea of the apocalypse than anything or anyone else in this world. I quite like to describe Madness as a cross between Muse (obviously), late Queen, George Michael, U2, and Lady Gaga. My description makes it sound like a bit of a mess to say the least, but it really isn't. The guitar solo's decent and the harmonies are lovely. It's a nice, slightly threadbare and catchy tune - exactly what you'd want from a lead single proper.

BAM. I won't open every paragraph like this, honestly, but I'm afraid we've already come into contact with our second stark contrast of the album. Never in a million years would I have imagined Muse attempting funk. They've always been more than willing to innovate, but pure funk is one avenue I never for one second believed they'd go down. Never in a further million years would I have imagined any kind of surprisingly funky Muse song being anything approaching good. My beliefs and imaginations were wrong though - Panic Station, the third track on The 2nd Law, is funky as fuck AND is frankly bloody brilliant. It features the trumpet player from Stevie Wonder's Superstition for heaven's sake. I shit you not. It's by far the catchiest song on the album (far more so than the still very catchy Madness) and it proves that if Muse give a lot of effort, they really can apply themselves to any genre. Well...nearly any genre...but we'll get onto that little anomaly later. Panic Station presents not only a vocal style from Matt Bellamy that we've never heard before, but also a guitar style. It's also worth noting that this is the first ever Muse album track to contain swearing, so bear this in mind when considering playing it to your nan. I guess it's quite appropriate too that this is the only paragraph in this review in which I've sworn. Naughty. Let's move on...

Ah yes, Survival (preceded by the incredibly short but sweet and aptly named Prelude)... This song's racked up an awfully high play-count on my iPod. This is as 'Musey' as any of The 2nd Law gets, and personally I love it. I reckon it's the best representation of their stadium-filling sound that they've managed to produce, and this can be heard on the record without even having to see them in concert. Yes, the lyrics are beyond appalling... Yes, it's as cheesy as an old foot made of Leerdammer... Yes, it sounds a bit like Queen... But who cares? If you don't take it too seriously, I think it's a fantastic track. The finger-clicking and jolly piano makes way for just a tad of proclaimed success (it sounds to me like somebody's gonna win...) before imploding with a ludicrously over the top finish like you've never heard a ludicrously over the top finish before. Every instrument is sounding perfect, which forms quite a groove to be smothered by the ridiculous choir and the wailed vocals. If The Resistance era material was borderline self-parody, this has shamelessly well and truly crossed the line. It's certainly not to everyone's tastes, but it's as good and as 'Musey' as modern Muse gets, and this is a review of Muse after all...

Follow Me, as I say a few words about this next track... Hehe. This is where some of my opinions may be lacking conviction, as I just can't quite settle on a verdict. Follow Me is bound to divide the Muse fanbase, as will and has a fair amount of the rest of the album. It's a bit dubby and it's a bit clubby - unsurprising considering the help of Nero was enlisted to produce it. Lyrically it's about parenthood, and the opening even features the heartbeat of Bellamy's little boy Bingham. Yes, Bingham...or Bing for short. Take your pick - which is the lesser evil? Perhaps performed live it'd be more captivating, but honestly, this studio version of Follow Me doesn't have me doing much other than cringing. The wailing vocals are too much this time, the chorus (more specifically just the words 'follow me') doesn't sound powerful enough and by the end of the song you're probably perplexed by what the hell you've just listened to. The problem is, I like this song... Whoops.

Next up is Animals, another quite familiarly 'Musey' sounding song. That's not to say it's overly predictable, mind. Then again, it's also not exactly ground breaking... Here's the deal. The guitar's sounding wonderfully clean (especially during solo moments) and the lyrics are satisfyingly angst-filled and cynical, with Matt Bellamy suggesting to the corporate fat cats that they "kill yourselves and do us all a favour". Fair enough. On the negative side, I just can't help but keep being reminded of other Muse songs whilst listening to it...that already overused and cliché Muse chord progression is here, and it just disappoints me to see a band that is supposedly trying to consistently adapt and innovate fall back on such an old trick. Mind you, it's still a very good song...perhaps I'm just over-analysing. Despite my possibly overly harsh qualms, Animals is definitely a stand out track on the record.

Oh dear. Here's where my head is really torn as to what I should say. I'm going to simply lay it out to begin with and then follow up by explaining why...I think...I think that Explorers is crud. Utter crud. Cruddy crud of the crudular variety. There's more to it than that though, as for about half of the song I was actually very optimistic. Once there's more going on in the mix though, my enjoyment begins to slide and by the time the key change hits I'm nearly vomiting all over the floor. Oh, and did I mention that it's a lullaby? No no, not just any old lullaby...a lullaby about countries exploiting other countries for natural resources such as oil. Yeah, one of those lullabies. For me, this song is just horrible. A horrible song masking some hidden potential that's pushed all the way back to the beginning. I genuinely like the way it opens. It's quite sweet (though a little too reminiscent of their much earlier track, Shine) and touching as a bare-bones ballad. However, there's only so much crooned "free me" a man can take, and when you realise that it actually just sounds like a poor karaoke sing-along, all credibility gets sucked away. Matt's softly sung "shhh, go to sleep" is just a creepy nail in the cheese coffin... Shame.

Did you know that Bono temporarily joined Muse? Well now you do. Big Freeze is so U2esque that it nearly hurts; and it should hurt, because for the most part I bloody hate U2...but it doesn't... It's yet another cheesy moment on what's proven to be a pretty cheesy album so far, but it really is good. I can't quite explain why. It doesn't do anything particularly special, it doesn't send out any kind of interesting message, and on the whole it's rather unremarkable. But the melody and the backing vocals are really nice, and it just seems to slot reasonably well into the whole (loose) second law of thermodynamics concept as a very solidly listenable album track. Perhaps it sticks with me as one of the high points of the record, simply because it's the last we get to hear of Matt Bellamy actually singing proper lyrics on The 2nd Law...

Hmmmmm...hmmmmmmmmmmm...hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. This is me pondering the next two intriguing tracks. Save Me and Liquid State were both written and sung by bassist Chris Wolstenholme - a first for the band. The news of this big step had many fans worrying, and I can safely say that those worries can be quashed. However, simultaneously, other worries should arise. The songs are good - there's no doubt about it - but they completely detract from the flow and the experience on the whole. Simply put, they don't belong here. They focus on his personal recovery from alcoholism, which had led to him being a distant figure from the other members at times. This in itself isn't exactly relevant to the second law of thermodynamics, but crucially it's just not Muse. Whenever I hear either one of these two tracks I feel like I'm listening to an entirely different band. A decent band, sure, but that's irrelevant. I don't even feel the need to go into any detail about Save Me or Liquid State, as for me it's obvious that they severely harm the record. I understand that Chris wanted to have a go, and that's absolutely fine - but maybe these tracks would have been better as B-sides? I just don't know. I'm probably the only person who sees it this way anyway.

Now, onto the finale! The big finish! The dubstep! Yup...dubstep, or brostep as many have been calling it recently. Split into two subsections, titled Unsustainable and Isolated system, The 2nd Law has a self-titled closer. Boy oh boy is it an interesting couple of tracks... The first of the two was the first segment of music we actually heard from the album, several months ago, and it caused quite a stir. Strings gather intensity in very familiar fashion before a stuttering female newsreader decides to teach us some science. If this wasn't weird enough, what follows probably will be. The bass drops and in comes an angry robot who repeatedly tells us we're unsustainable. Fine... The dubstep elements then combine with the strings, before Matt Bellamy's wordless wailing heightens the drama further and the bass drops once more. It's astonishingly mental. Unfortunately, it's probably also astonishingly bad. Whether you like the genre or not, Unsustainable is NOT good dubstep. It lacks depth and complexity and is incredibly clean sounding. In my opinion it needs more grit and punch, but it's at least cool to know that the sounds we can hear came from a guitar. The whole thing's just utterly laughable. It's bad but it's a barmy guilty pleasure. Part 2, Isolated System, is a quite mellow instrumental closer. The track centres around a basic piano melody not that dissimilar to the beginning of Tubular Bells. A faint beat and soothing strings slide over the top, to create a gorgeous spacey atmosphere. Jumbled voices sound, before quickly making way for normal service to be resumed. To me it just doesn't do enough though; for the entire song I'm just waiting for it to explode, but it never really does. At pretty much the exact moment I expect it to rip-roar into life, the newsreader from Unsustainable is back to close the album with a juttering loop. Missed potential once more, I feel. One thing it does tell us is that some day, probably in the not too distant future, Bellamy will compose a film soundtrack. He's too talented and too interested not to. 

So that's that. 3 years of waiting, for this. Was it worth the wait? I'm not so sure. There's some good tunes here and it's always refreshing to see a band embracing experimentation in this day and age, even if it does come with largely mixed results. I've found The 2nd Law to be a very tricky to album to evaluate on the whole. Once more it seems that Muse are simply trying to do too many things at once when it may have benefited them to just focus more squarely on more specific areas and try to hone them instead. I don't know, I guess I'm just trying to find excuses for and ways of fixing my own personal disappointment. Perhaps the spark has just gone... I was once convinced that in 30 or so years' time, Muse would be looked back upon and revered as a modern day Pink Floyd, or just generally a classic rock band of their time. MASSIVE gigs and multiple awards made me see it as a certainty, so long as they continued down that same or a similar road. Now I'm not so sure...I fear that this phase of Muse, though containing lots of genuinely good music, may be overlooked and forgotten due to all being a bit too embarrassing. Nobody should expect the old Muse to come back, as change is inevitable...so for now, enjoy what you have of their glory days and attempt to embrace where they're headed. It may be a difficult change to take, but The Resistance and The 2nd Law is the Muse of now. The glory days are over, but who's to say they won't come back some day? For the moment, loosen up, try to forget that this is the same band who made Origin Of Symmetry and Absolution, and you'll likely find a mental mixed bag of an album that's worth giving multiple listens to.

6.5/10

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Half-arsed update, halved again and then divided by 2

That’s a quarter of a buttock…

Yet again it’s been a while since I’ve actually posted on here. My sporadic desire to express myself yet repeatedly fall short of the self-imposed mark is rapidly becoming more and more embarrassing as each and every “sorry for the delay” post passes. Who am I even apologising to? I don’t have a legion of followers, I don’t have a fanbase, and I don’t think I’ve ever actually managed to pull in anyone other than a small selection of my closest friends who have nominated themselves to wade through my tripe for no reason other than sympathy and humouring. Bless. This is no problem with me. This has never been a blog that I’ve approached with any solid seriousness, and (OXFORD COMMA! Go on, go nuts) and its sole purpose has, if anything, been to keep me literate at best, and (ANOTHER ONE! Go nuts again) hopefully at least keep me just about breathing and functioning as a roughly rounded (but increasingly round by the day, thanks to a lack of exercise and a worrying diet) individual.

Anyway, a lot has happened since I’ve been ‘gone’. I’ve still been here, but, y’know. I’ve gained a girlfriend. I’ve also lost one. In that order. I’m pretty sure that’s about it really… Yep, that’ll do me for now. Wasn’t that fun? Be sure to look out for a near identical post to this one in a few months’ time. Ciao.

Friday, 16 March 2012

Albums of 2012 - Part 1

I did a post in a similar vein to this last year; however I did it much earlier in the year, and I stupidly spread it across several posts, before ultimately rushing the final piece of the blog-shaped puzzle because I frankly couldn’t be fucked to waffle any more. It’s always good when you swear within the first couple of sentences of a new post. Nice going, Jenkins. So this time around I’m going to be doing things differently and hopefully better. I’ll squeeze everything into just the one post if I can, so the quality of analysis with each album is going to be about as deep as Katie Price and her despicable shitfest of a life. It’s more likely going to come in two posts though, if I was in the business of making predictions. It’s taken me such a long time to do this because in actual fact, up until now I didn’t think there were enough albums on the horizon that would interest me enough to warrant me taking some time out of my busy (non-existent) schedule to write this here block of drivel. But here it is: a lovely intangible block of drivel. So without further ado, let’s get on with it…there’s 13 potential albums for me to mention. I’ll do it in alphabetical order, just so I can claim to be organised in some way.

Biffy Clyro are set to be releasing the follow up to 2009’s hugely popular Only Revolutions this year. Many dedicated Biffy fans felt that the record was too mainstream-orientated and a little bland, but I beg to differ. I thought it was excellent from start to finish. This next album, which is as yet untitled, is going to be a double album. I just hope they can offer up a good level of variety to prevent it from becoming boring – a pitfall that many over-inflated records fall into. One disc is supposed to represent the wrong decisions in life, with the other disc (you guessed it!) representing the right decisions in life. An interesting concept for sure, it’s also one that screams of pretentiousness. Not like that bothers me of course, I’m a Muse fan for goodness’ sake… Lead vocalist and guitarist Simon Neil has claimed that the band will be going “as far over the top” as they “possibly can'”. What’s that you say? They’ve also been working on styles of song ranging from country-prog to goth-rock? Yup, there’s definitely a strong element of Muse-y ambition coming out right now.

It’s time to come a lot closer to home now – moving from bonny Scotland all the way down to Lowestoft. The Darkness celebrated their long-awaited reunion last year with a couple of excellent gigs, but now it’s time for them to put out a record and show us that they’re not as irrelevant and stale as I fear they may now be… I bloody LOVE The Darkness, and so I just don’t want to see their reputation tarnished. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, there can be little denying that Justin Hawkins and co. carry an infectious energy that’s so dearly lacking in the music industry right now. Whenever the album arrives, and whatever it sounds like, I can’t see it being much of a mainstream success…but that doesn’t matter to me. I’m just so glad they’re going to be back. Recently they released a free single which can still be downloaded from their official website, titled “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us”. It’s certainly a generic rock song title, and I’d expect no less from the real life equivalent of Spinal Tap. They have no shame in what they do; no issues with making their influences obvious…it’s parody yet at the same time an appreciation of the allegedly dying genre. Any band that ties together the sounds of Queen and AC/DC and makes genuinely good music, no matter how cheesy, is a good thing in my eyes.

The Enemy have got something to prove. Their first album, We’'ll Live And Die In These Towns, was an absolute smash hit. Their second album, Music For The People, was an absolute…mash shit…? I didn’t really think that joke through. They’ve been working on their third album (titled Streets In The Sky) for a long time now, and so you’d hope it’d be decent at least. To be honest I’d expect it. This album will make or break their career…and judging by the new single (another one that’s available for free download from their official website), it’s really difficult to judge where it’s headed. The song is fine, but it definitely did leave me feeling a little bit underwhelmed. Perhaps one album was enough for the Coventry-based boys. We should be set to find out before the season’s end…

Franz Ferdinand next! The sooner these guys release whatever the hell their next album’s going to be, the better. I’m starting to think that everyone’s forgotten about them, and it’s a genuine shame. Their eponymous effort was one of the greatest debuts I can think of, and the following two albums have both had some great moments. I’ll admit, I’m not mad keen on many parts of You Could Have It So Much Better, but Tonight really impressed me and showed me that Alex Kapranos’ Scot lot were able to move away from their comfort zone when required. It was a little bit electro/disco/techno (especially alongside the remix album, Blood) and I enjoyed it greatly. It seems that this opinion of mine isn’t shared by many though, and so the band have decided to keep tight lipped about their 4th album in an attempt to avoid the risk of disappointing people. Watch this space.

I’ll admit, I’m not the biggest fan of this next band, but even so I’ll definitely at least consider purchasing their next album. Keane are releasing Strangeland on May 7th. It’s said to be a slight return to the sound of their incredibly popular debut, Hopes & Fears. I get bored of Keane easily, I’m not going to lie to you – so now is a naff time for me to try and explain why their upcoming album is something to look forward to. So much so in fact that I didn’t even bother with their 2010 EP Night Train. I read somewhere that the first single from the album was now available to listen to online, but I’m so God damn dedicated that I’m not even going to bother doing any further research. For whatever reason I’m hating on this band a little bit right now. I guess I’ve just come to terms with the fact that they’re hideously average, yet I still inexplicably do kind of like them…

Ah yes, The Killers. Brandon Flowers is a silly twat with a silly twat’s name, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that the band have produced some pretty great tunes over the years. Day And Age was…well…erm…okay…I guess, but it’s Hot Fuss and Sam’s Town that really hit the spot. Oh, and the less said about Flowers’ solo effort, the better…the same goes for The Killers’ Christmas singles… Urgh. It’s been said that their 4th album will be both a return to form and a return to their earlier style of material (IT’S GOING TO HAVE GUITARS IN IT), though there’s very little auditory evidence of this as yet. Expect to hear more before the summer.

As expected I let writing fatigue get the better of me. Stay tuned for part 2 in the near future.

Ciao for now!

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Friday, 24 February 2012

Gorillaz (feat. André 3000 & James Murphy) – “DoYaThing” Review

If it is indeed the end for Mr Albarn’s ever-rotating cast of cartoons, has it all gone flat or is it picture perfect?

I’ve been excited about this track ever since it was first announced that Gorillaz would be collaborating with two mystery figures of reported musical stature for Converse’s ‘Three Artists. One Song’ promotion. Now we know who appears on the track and we’ve been given the opportunity to download it for free (from Converse.com), what’s it like? Let’s get a little bit of background (and an opportunity for me to ramble aimlessly and express a little bit of opinion) first. This song was written and recorded purely to coincide with the release of a limited edition range of Gorillaz themed shoes designed by Jamie Hewlett. I’ll be honest, I was a little concerned that this move would prove to scream “SELL OUT” – especially considering that part of the idea of Gorillaz in the first place was to erase the celebrity-obsessed, egocentric and commercial side of the music industry to a degree. But then I actually began to think about it, and there’s no denying that after going through 3 full studio albums Gorillaz have deviated from their initial ethos. Just count how many different collaborators appear on 2010’s Plastic Beach. Go on. Frankly, the prospect of listening to Damon Alban, André 3000 (of OutKast fame) and James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem) is a tantalising one to say the least. For anybody hoping for more of a return to the style of their eponymous debut album from 2001, or even a departure from the current style into an area fresh, new and green, you’ll be left feeling disappointed. DoYaThing would very much feel at home on Plastic Beach. This shouldn’t be a problem though, least not for me, because I bloody loved that record.

The song gets into things pretty promptly, with only a very small introduction (if you can call it that) which is basically a high pitched synth followed by an almost lightly mechanical sounding beeping and scattered beat. Parping synths soon follow (which I am sure come from the same sound-bank as the ones used in Doncamatic feat. Daley) before you soon find that Damon Albarn sounds as great as ever with his slightly altered voice as the persona of 2D, the blue haired and paranoid lead singer. He deals with the verses whereas James Murphy takes centre-stage for the chorus with a falsetto funk-fest tinged with a sense of happy delusion. It’s not the most tuneful erm…tune you’ll ever here, but thus far it’s pretty cool. What really makes this song tick is the introduction of none other than André Benjamin (3000). He’s given the space and freedom to take the last two and a half minutes of the song by the reigns and do something kickass. He offers both a bizarre second chorus of sorts, which by the way is catchy as hell. It’s his marathon of a rap that really shines though; in which he goes on and on and on and on (not that I’m complaining in any way) to such an extent that he manages to squeeze the words ‘juicyfruit’, ‘onomatopoeia’ ‘astronaut ass’ and ‘nigga’ (and ‘fuck’, naturally) x 100. I may be exaggerating a litte, oh, and I’m quoting, bitch - I ain’t no racist. The version currently available for download though is the radio edit, and so you won’t be able to hear the rudiness until you listen to the extended 13 minute version, which I’ll get onto in a minute… André really does go hell to the leather with it, free-styling at an impressively breakneck pace. To be honest the only negative point that immediately springs to mind regarding this section is the fact that it’s probably going to be a fair while before we see another OutKast album… Big shame. I hate to ramble though, so let’s see if I can come to a reasonably concise conclusion. This song is great, and I genuinely believe it’s one of the best songs to have come from Damon Albarn’s marvellously inventive ‘toon project. Its structure is interesting, it’s accessible but at the same time oddly not…(I love it when I don’t make sense) and having quality such as the likes of James Murphy and André 3000 is just downright impressive. Whatever the collective ‘thing’ of Albarn, Murphy and Benjamin is – they’re certainly doing it. You owe it to yourself to give this song a listen and maybe a cheeky little (FREE) download if you like what you hear. Maybe take a look at the range of Gorillaz themed Converse too, because they’re pretty damn sexy. Oh, and about that extended version… It’s the shit. That’s all I’ll say.

8.5/10

For those who may be stupid enough to care, I’m sorry for being so inactive on here recently. Ciao for now!

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Monday, 2 January 2012

The Greatest Conversation Of All Time

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: horny male looking for a horny female to make him cum ;)
You: I'm over 9000, a dog, and I live in a fridge.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Thank you, Omegle. I need say no further words. Ciao.