Potentially Perpetual Pointlessness: Mario Balotelli

'Super Mario', they've dubbed him. Although let's be honest, I'd much rather have the portly pipe-delving plumber in my team, and not the egocentric, infant-brained centre forward. We've (football fans) all seen it by now, and it's a pretty big talking point to take the football fan's mind off of transfer stories for a brief moment. Here's the story, and my view on the man himself.

Manchester City are playing in a pre-season friendly against LA Galaxy - you know, that team that nobody gave a shit about until Sir/Lord/Almighty David Beckham turned up. It's just over half an hour into the game, and City are already 1-0 up after scoring a penalty through none other than Mr Balotelli. Through on goal, in a position where he's more than likely to score with a swing of the right boot, Mario decides instead to turn on the style, twist himself around with his back to goal, and backheel the ball into the net. I'm sure as he begins to rotate, he can already hear the rapturous applause in his head, he can visualise the newspaper headlines, and the enhanced reputation he'll gain. Do you think though, he'd prepared for the possibility of dragging the ball wide of the mark and looking like a complete twat in the process? No, I don't think so either. Which is a real shame, because guess what happened?! Yep, he bloody missed the target, and was substituted immediately by manager Roberto Mancini. His team-mates were shocked and disgusted with him, and it's fair to say that the crowd didn't particularly like it either. 'Super' Mario Balotelli was booed off the field. Hiss. He then proceeded to argue with his boss on the touchline, before sulking off like the spoilt child that he is.

There have been claims that he thought he was offside, so what he did would have had no bearing on the game, but proving this would be more than difficult. If you watch the replay, he looks to be carrying on as normal with the intent of lighting up the game, and Mancini's claimed that Balotelli knew he was onside. David Beckham thinks otherwise and reckons that Mario thought he was offside, but since when did his opinion on a MANCHESTER CITY issue matter? That said, after being taken off the field for James Milner, Balotelli pointed to the linesman, and made a whistling gesture - indicating that he thought he'd been called offside. Offside or not, that's not the point. Several days prior to this incident, a player called Awana Diab scored a cheeky backheel penalty for the United Arab Emirates in a comprehensive 6-2 win over Lebanon. He was booked, subbed off straight away (despite having only been on the field for 10 minutes), and now faces a disciplinary hearing in which he may be fined or suspended. Harsh. The point I'm trying to make here is that even if Balotelli's unorthodox attempt at goal had paid off, the reaction would likely have been the same. LA Galaxy fans would still have been riled, as would Roberto Mancini. The precedent had been set in the Far East, and I reckon Mario would still have been substituted. But why such radical reactions to these cases of seemingly harmless show-boating?

A hell of a lot has been said and (supposedly) done regarding 'respect' in football (or of course 'soccer', if you'd rather be incorrect) in recent years. The loose umbrella term of 'respect' covers the fair treatment of referees, players, opposing teams - you name it. I guess then, it seems that these acts of over the top, but undeniably lavish skill are seen as disrespectful to the opposing teams. This is fair enough, but at the end of the day, nothing in the rules of football states that a player shouldn't be allowed to show off a ~~little~~ lot. I can understand substituting the player, and giving him a stern word about the team being the greater good, and that respect is important. But being fined or suspended, or even just booked? Too far. You shouldn't be disciplined for something if it isn't classed as wrongdoing by the rules of the book.

Back to the sublime brilliance and abomination that is Mario Balotelli though. His career consists of many ups and downs for sure, but it's hard to ignore the plus-sides of the player - surely why Man City paid £22million to Inter Milan for his services nearly a year ago now. He's skilful, strong, pacey, and a good finisher. He's scored goals at the highest level, and he's been in and out of the Italian national team set-up for a while now. Crucially, he's young. Very young in fact; he turns 21 in August. The flip-side is that his attitude reeks like a sack of dog turd wrapped in burnt hair and soaked in melted Stinking Bishop. He was famously exiled to the reserve squad under José Mourinho at Inter Milan for his behavioural problems both off and on the pitch. This trend has continued at Manchester City, much to the dismay of Roberto Mancini, who must have thought there was a good chance that his juvenile ways were behind him. Last term, he scored 10 goals in 28 games for The Citizens - not too shabby for a debut season in a foreign country. However, he was sent off twice during the same 28 game period - quite concerning for a striker. Naughty boy. His indiscipline is clearly a major problem, and nobody's been able to control it as yet. The thing is, I don't want anybody to be able to control it. Balotelli should be a bit of a 'Marmite Man', but instead I find myself both loving and hating him at the same time.

Part of me believes that his attitude issues will leave bags of untapped potential, but then, a fair few of the best players the world has ever seen haven't exactly had the best personalities. Rise, Diego Maradona. Oh the many ways in which I hate you... The way I see it though, Balotelli is almost necessary to the Premier League. He's absolutely crazy, and you never know what to expect from him next. I can't tell you how copiously I laughed at Balotelli while he struggled to put his training bib on pre-match. Well, no, I lie, I can tell you. I laughed a lot. The thing is, without him, the top tier of English football would most definitely be a worse place. He's a consistent talking point, and for such varied reasons. That right there is entertainment at its very best.