Potentially Perpetual Pointlessness: Jamie Matthews

Quite a quiet release, this one. The basic concept for this album was created after Mr Matthews was told by a so called ‘friend’ that songs, and therefore albums, take a hell of a long time to write and record. Jamie disagreed. Challenge accepted. He’s had no musical education, other than the diabolical lessons in the school years up until year 9 in which you learn nothing but how to shake maracas and turn on a keyboard. Probably. Recorded and produced using Apple’s GarageBand software, “I Came” is a budget debut from Jamie Matthews – being released and put up for download for not a penny. Yup, it’s 100% free. Thanks, Jamie. Fundamentally, I’m going to have to review this album from a slightly different standpoint than normal. This isn’t about the musical content – always encouraging for MUSIC. I’ll of course take its vocal, instrumental and song-writing values into consideration when it comes to rating the album overall; but I won’t give it too much focus, if only to avoid upsetting the artist. Just kidding. Mostly. To give you a rough idea of what we’re dealing with here, take a look at the tracklisting:

Raep Raep Raep
The Bullying Song
Yarmouth
Meaning of Life
Animal Uprising
Social Networking
Poppadom Song
Instrumental Interlude
Happiness and Such
No Homo
Love Above the Waist
Intro Music (For a Kid’s Show)
Poignant Poem
Birdsong (Bex’s Song)

A range of themes, both light and dark, are covered in “I Came”. It’s this topical diversity that makes the record on the whole that little bit more appealing than it perhaps should be. One minute you’re being swamped by heavy-hitters such as the intelligently contemplative “Meaning of Life” and the next minute you’re stuck in the middle of the a full-scale riot of all God’s creatures, in “Animal Uprising” – broadcast to the listener by Jamie Burgundy, which is sure to raise a chuckle from the “Anchorman” fans among you – such a myself. Yes, I chuckled. This album really does stretch from one end of the spectrum to the other in its variety though; when it’s dark it’s dark, and when it’s light it is certainly light. “Poignant Poem” and “Love Above the Waits” are almost chilling in their hollow vocal delivery, whereas “Raep Raep Raep” is…plain distasteful. Unless of course you advocate the non-consented sex of 7 year old children – which you shouldn’t. Matthews doesn’t either, it’s just part of his wicked sense of humour. Please try not to be offended. It’s clear then, that Jamie was never looking to make a particularly cohesive album. In terms of instrumentation and song structures, the tracks all piece together rather well; as you’d expect from only one piece of software being used. Yet the album itself has no overarching theme, no point, no purpose, no intention, no desire, no message.

Onto the album’s musical credentials, which I earlier said I’d skim over quickly, but it can’t be avoided. Vocally, this is far from perfect. A couple of choruses may have you wondering whether they should be sung in totally different keys. The rest of the choruses are merely partially out of tune. What’s either distortion or the common garden auto-tune is very prominent indeed, whenever there’s vocals to be listened to or even winced at. Admittedly, that was overly harsh. You could argue that this is part of the album’s charm – after all, Jamie knows he’s not a singer. You could also argue that it means it’s shit. Take your pick. Spoken parts, however, are generally great. In fact, they more than make up for the majority of the singing being not up to scratch. Jamie’s speaking voice is crisp, clear and coherent. He’s evidently a well-spoken and well-mannered chap who knows how to articulate his points precisely and wittily – to music.

So how about the backing music? For a man (supposedly) completely lacking in musical know-how, some of it really isn’t all that bad. No, it’s better than that – plenty of it is good. As you’d expect, it’s still a mixed bag though. I’m still undecided as to whether “Raep Raep Raep” is supposed to sound so jagged, but because of the menacing and deeply inappropriate theme, I’ll give Jamie the benefit of the doubt. Sick bastard. The overly-pleasant “Happiness and Such” and “The Bullying Song” are genuinely catchy as tunes, which is nice because most of the album consists of short songs and skits that focus more on telling a little story of some kind, rather than ingraining themselves in your head. I don’t mean this as a bad thing, no no; on the contrary – it’s just surprising to find yourself humming and whistling some of the songs several hours after you last heard them. On the subject of “The Bullying Song”, it’s one a few songs that actually made me laugh. Others include the ridiculously racist “Poppadom Song” (which references and questions the British population’s inherent racism, as opposed to displaying Jamie’s racist views. He’s not racist at all, would you believe), “Yarmouth” (a wonderfully accurate insight into ‘Great’ Yarmouth, condensed into just over a minute and a half), “Social Networking” (a silly song about internet activity and how it can quickly become daily monotony) and “No Homo” (an audio sketch, if you will, about how sexual activity is not gay unless your balls are touching. Yummy). The main gripe I have with the musical instrumentation is the lack of depth on offer. Layers are thin, and there’s never very many of them; hence very nearly plunging the entire album into the depths of easy-listening music.

Lyrically, it’s a pretty hearty thumbs-up to Mr Matthews. Sombre tones are as equally well-achieved as more upbeat and chirpy numbers, thanks in some part to some consistently decent lyrics. Brilliance is just on the horizon too, with snippets such as ‘relationSHIT’ and ‘I turn my sad frown upside down’. It’s worth noting by the way, that this album is in no way suitable for the kiddies. Expletives can be found in a couple of the songs, thus the album sleeve being garnered with a Parental Advisory logo. Something tells me that you already knew this album wasn’t one for the young ones though, after merely taking a passing glance at the aforementioned eye and album-opening “Raep Raep Raep”.

It’s difficult to come to a solid conclusion on “I Came”. It’s a wildly varied, smile-inducing and thought-provoking record, that relies on its uniquely charming design to hold its own. In truth, the quality is all over the place; especially when it comes to the vocal delivery. It’s Jamie’s surprising song-writing prowess that enables me to give “I Came” a moderately credible review at the least. There’s so much room for improvement, sure, but that can only make me more excited for the follow up that’s in the works - “I Saw”. Y’see, you’ve got to remember that this is a debut effort from a bored 17 year old boy, who’s simply proving a point to a friend in the best way possible. This is a patchwork of music that you’re bound to have an opinion on. He came, and hopefully he won’t be leaving any time soon.

6/10

Oh, and did I mention that it’s FUCKING FREE?! FREE OF CHARGE! GET IT NOW!

Jamie’s Website: http://jmmusic.tk/

Download link: I Came