I'm a Celebrity

Well, I'm not, but I think you all know that I was referring to the reality TV show. 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here' is definitely a guilty pleasure of mine. I know it's incredibly cheap, and quite lower class television, but frankly, I can't deny that it's entertaining. I've (mostly) unashamedly watched it avidly for the past few years now, and it's been pretty good. The past couple of series however, I found myself wanting something more, because the same old stuff being churned out year on (including Katie Price, aka 'Jordan') gets pretty boring pretty quickly. Not that Katie Price ever was or ever will be interesting, mind. It was getting incredibly stale though. Personally I thought they should reboot the format of the show, or end it altogether. But no, it's simpler than that. How do you make a once appealing but now fading show quality television again? The answer's Gillian McKeith. Wowzers. What to say about this woman? I can't say I've ever been particularly fond of her - mainly because as far as first impressions go, looking like a Scottish interpretation of death itself and examining people's shit doesn't go down particularly well. Nor so is she much of a 'celebrity'. But hey, she's actually one of more well known faces in the camp this year. Lord help us. Let us cast this initial impression of her aside then, and at least try and take her for who she really is. Right, I'm ready now, I'll give it a go. Let's see what she's made herself look like. A terrified, jumpy, whining, ghastly, irritating, pathetic, feeble, hunchbacked excuse of a human being. That's what she is. The feeling of knowing exactly who the public have voted to partake in the 'Bushtucker Trial' day in, day out, is really quite refreshing. And very funny indeed. 'I'm A Celeb', as I'll now call it for the sake of saving marginal amounts of time (oh look, I've now wasted more anyway through explaining), is a rare breed of television of programme. That, and The Apprentice, are pretty much the only two shows that have the uncanny ability of making me genuinely hate somebody that I've never even met, and will (luckily) probably never meet. Her list of phobias is endless. The list of things I dislike about her is endless. Surely she should be put down? Even better, maybe before the series' end, good ol' Shaun Ryder will have had enough and pummelled her into the dirt - cigarette in ham-fisted hand, complete with frequent swearing. That would make my da-...no, it would make my we-...no, it would make my mon-...no, it would make my ye-...no...look, the point is that I'd love for it to happen. Oh, and on live TV? Yes please. Going back roughly 60 words, you're right, I do mean Shaun Ryder. Y'know, that plump 'musically talented' Northerner who spent most of the 1990s awake. The man that collaborated with Gorillaz for a song, in which his inability to pronounce 'there' led to the title of the song actually being changed. And who for that same song, when performing live at Glastonbury earlier this year alongside Damon Albarn and co, had to have a sheet with the lyrics on. What a pro'. You may think that's sarcasm, but I love the man. He's just such a character. But anyway. I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here is just a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. Go on, judge me! If it wasn't for Gillian or Shaun though, I probably wouldn't be interested. I should probably give a special mention to those two short Geordie lads. Annoying? Maybe. Funny? Yes. I reckon without Ant and Dec, that show would have collapsed a fair while ago. It's on its last legs anyway. Maybe call it a day after this series? I think it's fair to say that we all want Gillian's fantastic 'faint' to be remembered as a final high point for the show. Not seen the incident? My goodness, it's pure TV gold.

Check it out for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNofgJw3azM