So, I was water-skiing with some sombrero-wearing penguins in the Antarctic. Everything was going swimmingly, until a pink whale came up from underneath me, and flung me miles into the air. I landed, perhaps conveniently, on the roof of an EasyJet airliner. I thought I was safe, but by pure bad luck, one of my penguin pals had been catapulted by the whale and into the engine; destroying the left phalange. The plane began to rapidly plummet, soon ending up being lodged in the side of a fucking massive iceberg. Cue fiery flaming explosion of flames and fire. The passengers on board, needless to say, were all killed. I managed to survive the blast, losing both my arms and legs in the process. I was airlifted to safety by a phoenix, and taken to a reputable hospital in Holland, where my limbs were carefully and proficiently reconstructed, using a suspiciously flesh-like mixture of Edam and Pritt Stick. My recovery was swift - alas the tragedy of this tale was yet to reach its climax. In my hospital bed, I choked on a sultana. I died.
This was written in response to a recent Formspring 'question of the day', which was "What's the worst injury you've had, and how did it happen?"
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