Obesity

Isn't obesity brilliant? It's funny and err...stuff. Nah, it can be a funny topic but I wouldn't condone laughing at a fat person just because they're fat. You may be thinking that this post is going in the direction of defending obese people, and how the abuse they receive is unjust. No such thing will happen, I'm afraid. On the other hand, I'm not pathetic enough to be writing a blog post about how hilarious it is to see a fat person, because it's not. It used to be, sure, but for a long time now, it's not really funny any more. That said, it will always be funnier to see a 40 stone behemoth topple over than just some 'regular' guy. I've totally lost where I'm going with this, but I guess it'll be fun to improvise. By 'fat' I don't mean a bit overweight. I consider myself to be a bit overweight, and I know a hell of a lot of people do too. No no, by 'obese' or 'fat' I mean really rather large - y'know, like "Would you like another trolley for your weekly food shop, Gladys the home alone for 20 years heffalump? Perhaps we should airlift those actually? Perhaps we should airlift you as well...?" That kind of level of overweightness. Or alternatively, ask your mother. To get out of the cake tin, turn around and show you how fucking massive she is. To be fair, I have nothing personally against people of the constantly hungrier end of the spectrum, and in fact I very much stray from fat jokes because I don't really find them terribly funny. I'm all for some other kinds of comedic abuse, personally...but most of the time, obesity jokes or comments aren't even funny in the slightest, and are just plain offensive. Actually, no, most of the time they're not even that. The intention to offend is often present, but the execution is awful. Why? Because picking on fat people is one of the only things that stupid people can squark about to generate a piss poor level of humour barely sufficient to take their minds off the fact that they've fucked their lives up and their job opportunities are now minimal, thanks to a criminal record and a child. I do love to exaggerate, but it's true that fat jokes are a very low form of comedy. Cretins don't do irony or puns. Trust me, I go to college in/near Great Yarmouth. I'm not saying jokes surrounding obesity can't be funny though - it's just that the comments are usually made by dullards, so the likelihood of a worthwhile chuckle being raised is very low indeed. The only reason that obese people were brought to my attention recently anyway is that yesterday afternoon, on my way to taking the early bus home from college after a week of tiring exams (which went reasonably okayish, thanks for asking) a couple of considerably weighted people made bad impressions;

Blob #1
Age: -
Gender: Wouldn't like to hazard a guess and offend him/her...
Location: Bus stop. Maybe she was the bus that stopped.
Occupation: If employed, I'll give her everything I own.
Crime: While being genuinely quite massive, smoking and pushing a pram. Though there was definitely a baby inside, I'm unsure as to whether it was her child or just a little snack.

Blob #2
Age: Old enough to need a walking stick for support. Even though she was only about 30...
Gender: Female. Blokes don't sag like that *shudders*
Location: On the bus, opposite me. Like the other lump, she could easily have been a bus inside a bus, much like those Russian dolls.
Occupation: Presumably a half arsed paedophile. Either that or 'hungry'.
Crime: Waving to a clearly uninterested little child for the whole journey, as though she expected a reaction. If anything, the child would have been excited to be meeting Mr Blobby in Yarmouth of all places. Jim Davidson was once a regular, mind. Debt will do the strangest of things to a man...

In 20 years time, if my laziness persists, I'll do a similar profile of myself, just so I can level out the scores. Obese people slid a fair few rungs down the social ladder in my eyes yesterday. Looks like there's going to be a bit of climbing back up to do - which is convenient, because it'll be a nice of bit of exercise to get under their huge collective belt.

Peace out.